I guess all the year 12's are quite relieved as we all finished our English Exam yesterday. 3 hours and two essays, one language analysis later I was stuffed. So bloody tired it was unbelievable. Whose Reality has been a large subject in my late English curriculum so when something happens in my life, there is no surprise I find many connections to it.
If I hadn't done Psychology I would've had a vague, superficial knowledge of Sigmund Freud. Yet Psychology has taught me that all of my deeper conflicts within myself can be shown through my behaviour, thought processes and dreams. Anyone heard of Freudian slips? Yeah they are a bugger.
Why are they pushed down to ones subconscious  Well it seems that many of us like to control many aspects of our lives, so when something doesn't go according to plan then one pushes it so far out of their consciousness that it remains or appears to remain hidden. These little techniques are called defence mechanisms and Freud was very passionate with utilising them in many of his theories, such as the Psychodynamic Theory. (Can you tell I'm revising for my Psychology Exam that is on Monday?)
Now I may be sounding a little like Freud himself, not really explaining what I'm trying to say in this post, is this a point to all of this? Well that depends on perspective!
So lately there have been a few social crisis' in my life. I have been putting them subconsciously out of my consciousness because I pretend to feel that they are unimportant to me; because there are larger, shittier things happening to other people right? So I should be appreciative and not complain. This has been my little philosophy lately, I guess it stemmed from my constant watching of Battle Scars by Guy Sebastian and Lupe. Love the song, and it is a metaphorical message clearly showing that everybody has scars, that determine their own person. Back on topic, so because of this philosophy my behaviour has changed due to my thought processes, I have become more withdrawn, silent concerned that I may complain. It's is irrational I know. Not yet a phobia because it isn't that excessive. Anyway, I may be pushing all this shit out of my brain, I may be denying it and masking it or whatnot but when I sleep, I have no control of the subjects that appear. I have been having reoccurring dreams lately. Not exactly the same flow or story but they all draw on the same meaning. It is basically me letting down my friends. Either abandoning them, lying to them. This latest one I couldn't stretch myself out enough to cater for all of them, so when one wanted me to hang out with them, then the others were abandoned. They get pissed and I feel guilty. Now, I'm not saying that I have trouble with sharing myself among friends. The most important part of these dreams is that I feel guilty. That I will hurt my friends and by this they will feel abandoned. Thus, I do not want it to get to this stage, and I won't let it because I used to be a great friend. One of the most loyal people and I am not ashamed to admit that.
Reoccuring dreams are trying to send someone a message about their deepest concerns in my case. To stop the pattern one must change. According to the CBT (cognitive behavioural treatment) that is used on many phobias and addictions. The cognitive part is to examine thought processes and display how this thinking is impacting on their behaviour. The behaviour component is ways to limit the unwanted behaviour. Change the way one thinks, you change the way they behave.

That is all...I hope you learned a few things hahaha. This actually better help me academically too!
And if you read this all, then here is a little video, that I am kinda obsessed with lately.

It all started with do you remember...