Back Back Back Like we used to...

Friends
you're a guy
im a girl
two different species
sometimes
same understanding
we used to....


What happened?!?
Let us delve deeper.

Friends
It started off rocky
It ended up rocky
Bliss and sun rise in between
You here for me
I there for you
That's how it is
That is how it was

You're a guy
Was a problem
Got over my naivity
Saw your sex another way
Let my guard down
Regret...that is all there is to say.

I'm a girl
Small...fragile?
Who's to say...surely you.
Or so you think.
Damsel in distress no way.
Or thats what i believe.
Do you? I never knew.
I never knew what you thought.
Still don't.

Two different species
You seem adventurous
I seem to just stick to what i know
You seem confident
I seem cold-hearted
A lot of seems
A lot of assumptions
But we never knew...

Sometimes...
I hated you because I didn't want to feel anything else
I said some things to keep my strong image up
You looked at me and I got scared
You said some things and I'd wonder
I'd just wonder.

Same Understanding
We were similar
Grey walls
Steel Plaster
Glassy stare
Melting honey and beeswax
Cold but beating.
I trusted. I forgot. I regret.

We used to...
Smile when we saw each other
Now we just keep walking
Talk to the ends of the earth
Now stony silence, stretched control
Feel comfortable
Now I feel awkward, you seem awkward.
Listen.
Now we Ignore.
Be friends
Now we are nothing more...

It all started with do you remember...

Who knew the joker and the thief were one entity

Playing cards
Cutting the deck
Shuffling, Shuffling
Craning the neck.

The joker played me
Once again
When will I learn
There is nothing to gain

Two rounds
Full house
Defeats on purpose
What a mouse?

Sneaking, tip toeing
Couldn't I see
That the mouse
Was always targeting me

Clear as glass?
But distorted as f*ck
Spill the deck
You've run out of luck

Wild card.
Tables have turned
What are you going to do?
What have you learned?

Round three
What will you do?
Last chance.
What will you lose?

It's not in the dice
It's in the mind
Roles are reversed
and this time I'm not kind.

Stay or 'Hit me'
lets see what you get
Choose carefully
Don't do anything you'll regret.

It all started with do  you remember...

I'm proud of one
But not of nine
And if im proud of just one
does that make nine fine

I'm not cut at you but I am cut

I'm not angry
TRUST ME im not
You didn't hurt me
Just some memories became hot
And I'm glad you cared
Well at least I thought you did
The only thing last night
Is I like to stay hid.

You aren't foreign to that
I'm sure you aren't
So you should understand

Vulnerable is something I don't like to feel
And each time I go over it
I try to take the time to heal

You know what I'm pissed about
Its not that I let what was hidden out
But i knew it was a joke
Yet how easily it provoked.
I try to act strong
But really I'm not
and that is my truest darkest fear of all.

Unfortunately it all started with do you remember...

Pounding walls
Breaking shafts
Hollow breaths
Foggy stars
Guilty

Bleeding cells
Cracked skin
Stretched nerves
Beating but
Guilty

Profound but subtle
Crest but cave
Beat
BEat
SNAP

It all started with do you remember...

All good comes to those who wait

I'm sorry for being cynical...but the person whoever made this load of bullshit up was either drunk......or were trying to make themselves feel better.

I'm a patient girl, I've waited for a lot of things and I've waited for a long and I mean long time, sometimes I don't know why I am waiting and just throw the towel...do something uncharacteristic that people will turn heads....but that's not me. I'm not an attention seeking brat.

I don't know why I am blogging right now...all i know is I've had enough. I'm tired, mentally and physically and all i want is a little spark in my life.

It all started with do you remember...

Seeing is Be-LIE-vinG

I'm not a religious person but that doesn't mean I don't believe in God. I have my reasons why I believe in him and yes I'm not gonna LIE but sometimes I doubt His existence. It's human nature to do so.
Or is that just another excuse.
Like this excuse: 'If i see HIM then I WILL BELIEVE'....well lets think about this for a little while...ponder on this note...I'm not gonna continue until  you PONDER. PONDER DAMNIT!










You didn't ponder did you? Anyway neither did I and if you did? What did you think? You were gonna get a medal or someone pat you on the back, a lesson to y'all who did, if someone tells you to do something that you don't necessarily want to do. Don't. Cause nobody likes a pushover kid.

Anyway back on track....
Maybe i should do a little poetry to get this out. Understand or don't, not my problem.

Twist, turn, cramp
Intestines intertwined
Million wings
All a LIE

A thousand words
a melodic symphony
all strung, all played
All a LIE

Time ticks
You're late AGAIN
What excuse
All a LIE?

Two rings molding
When they should be chiming
Gold Brass.Fake?
All a LIE.

Clear as crystal
I can see
don't need to LIE
NOT AGAIN.

It all started with do you remember...

*Place all Obscenities under the sun in here*

I could post this all over Facebook where millions can see orrrrrrrrrr I could post it here where millions may see...If i were to choose I would choose here because I know for a fact that about two people read this blog constantly. But if I post this on here am I being egotistical, hypocritical at the fact I am complaining once again....how are you guys not sick of me. I sicken myself, weewt to my self love...anyway. I could have statused something that would be viewed by others as they squander at the very thought of what the hell ticked me off this time...or that they may not even give a shit because hey she is off like a rocket again...have I lost you yet? Because surprisingly I haven't lost myself through all this, which is good.
And the point of my post was to rant but I don't exactly want everyone to know so I may keep this on the down low. Oh. My. This may actually rhyme. Gee Whiz. The unfortunate people that may know who I am and are close with who I am will probably just get the repercussions without the reason to why I am behaving the way I do...Do you get it? No. Of course not......or i may not give the things the satisfaction of my anger because really i shouldn't have been surprised, they don't deserve such effort or emotion.

Totally different topic.......What status' I hate (and most likely many others too)

1. 'I made an omelette for my mum...aren't I great daughter' (Stop. Do you want a medal? Because nobody gives a shit)
2. 'I'm bored as' (If you're bored, then get off facebook and do something productive...if you keep on saying you're bored, get the hint and get a life)

3. 'Like for an inbox/text' (Um...get the initiative and strike up a conversation yourself)

2. and 3. can go hand in hand. 'I'm so bored argh somebody text me'. (Enough said)

Oh and just in general...if you are posting a status way too much. (Get A Life)
Oh and one more thing if you posted something like this 'Oh....I'm so sad because my poor cat sparkles died this time last year' and then a minute later 'OOOOHHH ICECREAM TRUCK!!!! :DDDD'
You either have no genuine care orrr a very short attention span...either way, check it out.

Love you all...mwa. mwa...

It all started with do you remember...