You my friend could not have said it any better. It may be informal, not the best use of vocabulary but that is all that was needed to be said. There is nothing clear than those Three Little Words. Why didn't I respond with 'It sure is kid' instead I pressed. Never press. Maybe I should've said 'Yeah I know the feeling' and then conversation would've sprouted instead of this long drawn out silence. Because Stuff. Is. Weird. I don't know what this person was referring too but for me its all these ties. This ball of yarn is loosening and I can physically see it and feel it. I feel like that I'm surrounded by people but yet isolated at the same time. Because Stuff. Is. Weird.
Things have changed. 'Things always change...yeah they may but I don't have to like it'. Things can change in the smallest of ways, a night out, a chill sesh or even in a phone call. It happens, sure it does but though I try to hide the fact that it I have to not care for these things it still hurts to see it.
Stuff. Is. Weird.That it feels like when you admit to the most dangerous things that that is when they run away. It's that running away where you can just see they are never coming back because they don't look back once but keep on running. The back of their heads just disappearing through the fog. I was content where things were at last term, this term not so much. People slipping away, and I don't want to tighten my grip in case they slip away faster. These people I thought would be my 'best mate'...s for a long time, that would come to my wedding and sing the bride and groom's favorite song.
All I wanna know is where did it go? How did it change so quickly? Why did it have to change at all?
I was content...more than content. Now........................................eh. I tried to appreciate every day, I did appreciate every day to the point where I paused during moments and savoured the laughter and smiles...the deep conversations that seem to be non existent now. I don't know what I have done wrong, but for whatever it is...I'm sorry. There are days when I just want to be a massive smartass because the compassion and care and...hurt are just too much and I don't want to show. I definitely don't want to show them if that is gonna make people stop talking to me about their life because I am somewhat vulnerable and 'can't handle it'.
Anyway that's all I want to say now...I reckon that was even a little too much but I'm at a point right now that I don't have one single person in my life that I'd feel like I want to tell. I have come to a point of no care about ranting on the internet. There are no names in this and the people that this does concern wouldn't even have me in the back of their mind to care. Not anymore anyway.
It all started with do you remember...
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