Shambles

You know what I want.
Nothing.
Nothing from you,
Nothing from me
Just to stare into oblivion
Look out to sea
Vacant eyes
Moving no where
No purpose. Nothing.
No bloody care.

I didn't want it
But i knew it would happen
Or was it mishappen?
That naive blow
Hot. Searing Pain
Jabbed into the heart
Where all that was to gain
Left to depart.
Where rain turns to snow
Snow turns to ice.
At this stage there is no turning back
No such device.
To redeem what you had lost
what you had won but did not gain
Lost not what was earned
Because it was feigned.

You thought it was all a joke
You thought it was all for fun
The joker is not you
Because I have won.
Because im doing whats right
Stopping mid tracks...
Could it have kept going.
It was gone before it was aware.
The coals were never burning
No such amber deceived the air
But just cold, hard dust
Left where there was despair.

Despair is forbidden
In these ball and chained lands
The heart must pump
But not for you, or for me just for these glands.
To keep on working
To survive.
That is all it pumps for.
No meaning, No butterfly jive.
Just to keep breathing.
Just to keep alive.

Some think I'm stupid
but I'm smarter than they think
I'm not bragging
But i know whats written in ink.
It is plain on their faces,
Their parchment shows all proof
What they think, or think they know
This invasion makes me aloof.
Others think I'm naive
ignorant in manner and in way.
I know exactly what i am doing.
Each move leads to checkmate.
Judge me if needs be
As I do not care
I know how to take care of myself
I am very well aware.
How i act. How i look. What I think and What I've done.
Each move is strategic.
To win some you must lose some.
And those losses don't become regrets
But mishappens none the less.

All i want is to keep firm
A grip on what I have
A yarn of wool unravelled
Is not a useful yarn of wool.
But an inconvenience to all.
And I would not like to be that fool.
All I ask is don't get like that.
Don't let the twines tangle you.
And strangle what ached
Not all yarns of wool were made the same
Not all yarns of wool break.

It all started with do you remember...