100th Post: Why won't they LISTEN???

Yes it is my 100th post today and I've been putting it off for quite a while now, I never knew what spectacular thing to write about, my life is terribly boring but whilst waiting I found out things that annoyed the crap out of me, i had revelations and I needed to thank people.
First...
Over the past couple of months I've seen people who are attracted to each other, and I've seen the chemistry that is between them, its not just physical attraction but they have this deeper connection, one that I have never really understood and probably will never understand. And both sides talk to me and tell me that they either think they are not confident enough, not ready or that they TRULY don't like them. But all of these people have  something in common, and I'm not writing to reprimand or be angry because I'm not, I just want them to realise something, that this something special they have is blooming and is ready to be picked but all of these people shy away from the idea and waste this special something because they are scared. They are scared shitless about taking the leap of faith they need to cross that bridge. I'm gonna be honest it shits me so much because they have this special something that is really rare in my eyes because what they have is so pure, so genuine that is not tainted by the worlds indecencies. They are finally a community and not just a survival unit. They have this thing that people hopelessly search for all of their lives but never find, that others cry themselves to sleep wanting it, and others that are annoyed that they are around it so often but for them it just keeps missing. For these people I say this...Just STOP!!! Stop, thinking, stop talking, stop covering, stop hiding. In this silence listen and you will be heard, you will hear, stop your busy lives, hectic wonderings and just listen and you will find out the truth. Stop walking around blindfolded and you will see. You will see what I see, what I hear, two hearts in sync. But they just won't listen. Each heart beats for each other and if one falls behind the other slowly dies, they need each other but are too scared to just grab it. One does not see how he is actually in love so much it hurts and though that person may think she just missed the opportunity, he feels like he fucked up and he wants it, another is scared that it will ruin what they had but let me tell you it will ruin you if you don't find out if it could work, that What If? will always be there. Some are so used to what they have been doing to actually open their heart to feel such a tender thing is the scariest thing in their life. To these people that confide in me from both sides I can assure you that it WILL work and I'm not scared to guarantee it. If I am wrong, I will punish myself. But what i see is beautiful, I am not afraid to say I envy it but if you guys don't take it, you'll be forever lost, and will never feel whole...complete. Now if I get reprimanded by these people for spreading my thoughts out in this post, I won't care because I needed to say this, I've been thinking it for so long...and i am proud enough to be the one to voice it. If you stop you'll never know what you'll find.
OH AND FYI: don't listen to it's just not your time...it is ALWAYS your time, whether you take it is the real question.

Second...
It is such a weird thing, you are ready to pommel someone, your anger is at a high but it diffuses by the end and you'd think how could this be possible. Sometimes you just need to wait something out because sometimes those little moments can make you turn around, a night can turn around as situation can turn around in an instant. I've never been so mind boggled as I have this year, its really kept me on my toes, I went from someone who no one could understand....or was willing to understand to someone that has been on a common thread that many can understand if they get that far to knowing. I was so naive to think Oh me!!! but practically everyone is on this thread its just nobody takes the time to project out of their thoughts to see others. Everyone is in the same boat. Wow this second part has taken a random turn.

Third...
A dedication to my two favorite girls. The two that I have put all my effort, compassion into caring for. The two that I know will slap me in the face when needs be to make me realise, i have some purpose as small as it may be in this world.
Lidija: I finally don't feel corny as to saying you are my best friend. You are the one that made me realise I was living wrong, that one person who kept my head above the water when I was sinking in the dark depths of my despair. I may have found you on the floor, crushed but you found me standing with mock bravery, you dug deep and you found out I am not as strong as I may say. Today I am feeling courageous to lay it all out, even on a blog. I'm not as strong as I'd like to think. And two nights ago at a party both of us won't forget, you said I'm not as strong as you, and you know what that made me feel like...a cheater because you my friend are the strong one out of us two. You just don't see it. You are my kerosene lamp and always will be my guidance. But though I may be the one who has the lack of confidence you do too, what you need is the confidence to take your hands off your eyes and heart and see and take what you have and don't let go. I believe in you that you can do this. You taught me to open my heart, and I don't regret it even though... I know you will always be there, you are no part time friend and you know I will always be there. So thank-you.

Vici: I know you don't read this or follow it but I'm gonna say this anyway. You are the best of both worlds as we discussed yesterday. We usually don't fit well with the girls because we are too harsh and with the guys well there are guy problems. But I know if I need a wake up call you'll give it to me and push me in the deep end because you know that though I may not have the confidence I will swim and survive. But you also are the person I know who can see what my eyes try to hide and you worry...A LOT. And you care. But I don't want you to worry which makes you worry more. You are the one person who has actually said to me, that you can see I hurt. You don't care what I say or argue back  because you know you're right and you have helped me to become stronger if anything. Thank-you. You will always be that unmoving pillar who gives as good as she gets and when I lose my voice I know you will always be my back up in whatever situation. You have my six. Thank-you.

It all started with do you remember...

In all honesty I had no faith in today, I did not think it would work and once again I'm wrong. I've been wrong a lot lately...my judgement clouded by anxiety, fear of something...some think they know but I don't even know and that is what I'm figuring out.

Father and Mother

Today faired well, it was like we were a real family, making entree then K.K then lunch and when I was at my appointment all I could think was for the bloody orthodontist to hurry up so I could get back, I felt an urge to be back with...my family. That's exactly who they are, some may have been missing but majority, the ones that truly care about me were there and I felt for once I belonged. I fit, my jagged piece found a fit, it didn't need to be forced, it was comfortable and  happy all on its own, surrounded by all of these other pieces with their support and each one in harmony to make this whole- this fantastic thing.

I've been searching but its been here under my nose, they take the precautions for me, they have my back...I don't need to fret about labels, ingredients...they know but most of all they understand.

I should've taken my own advice a long time ago, that I've given to many, its a quote 'friends are like stars, you may not always see them, but they are there'.

I felt appreciated, my cooking experiences and skills being used, the looks on everyone's faces which they expressed whilst reading my christmas card, each unique and not copied, each fitting them to the 'T'. It was this small smile as they got the in jokes and compliments, the appreciation I have for each one of them, then they look up from the card and its this look, no words needed, just a look and you glow inside. I've never felt like that before...appreciated.

it all started with do you remember...

here is a haiku

One step closer
I can  nearly touch it
now i'm pro